1 - Video

[barewicked]

[Video clicks on, to reveal a skinny young man in his mid twenties. His eyes are wide and darting, and he wears an expression of deep concentration, right up until he realises he's broadcasting. Then, he becomes animated:]

Yo! I got some words for your Admiral here! I know I'm not dead, and I would remember if I'd been nicked, so you got no right hauling me in, man, no right!

[He keeps glancing off screen as he says this, as if he's expecting someone to enter his cabin at any time.]

Look, this isn't even my yard, all right? I was staying with a mate - a couple of mates, actually - so you've just gone and jacked their place out from under them, haven't you? Nicked right off with it and stuck it on your stupid boat! So where are they going to live, eh? You just made two innocent people homeless, mate, so who's the villain now?

[He puts one hand on his hip, apparently waiting for an answer. He manages to go about thirty seconds before giving an unhappy huff and putting his hand on his stomach.]

Bare starving as well. It's a fucking joke, this is.

Comments

[badgerms]

You think your standards still matter all that much after you bite it?

[barewicked]

You really want me to lovingly describe the semi I just gave you, don't you?

[badgerms]

Please. You ain't anywhere near pretty enough to be my type.

[barewicked]

You know, someone else said that to me today, right before her boyfriend started tryin'a chase me off from her because I'm so fucking pretty it's a bit intimidating.

[tucky]

I did not say you weren't my type. I said not being pretty was a compliment.

[barewicked]

So what you're saying is, that this guy's paying me a compliment when he questions how pretty I am.

Thanks Tiff, that makes me feel proper good about myself.

[tucky]

Well, probably he isn't.

But I'm gonna stop flirting with you too now, even a little bit.