1 - Video

[barewicked]

[Video clicks on, to reveal a skinny young man in his mid twenties. His eyes are wide and darting, and he wears an expression of deep concentration, right up until he realises he's broadcasting. Then, he becomes animated:]

Yo! I got some words for your Admiral here! I know I'm not dead, and I would remember if I'd been nicked, so you got no right hauling me in, man, no right!

[He keeps glancing off screen as he says this, as if he's expecting someone to enter his cabin at any time.]

Look, this isn't even my yard, all right? I was staying with a mate - a couple of mates, actually - so you've just gone and jacked their place out from under them, haven't you? Nicked right off with it and stuck it on your stupid boat! So where are they going to live, eh? You just made two innocent people homeless, mate, so who's the villain now?

[He puts one hand on his hip, apparently waiting for an answer. He manages to go about thirty seconds before giving an unhappy huff and putting his hand on his stomach.]

Bare starving as well. It's a fucking joke, this is.

Comments

[maced_eggs]

...S'fair. I wasn't jealous.

[tucky]

-- Couldn't help but notice you was letting him call you my boyfriend. More than once, even. That mean that if people asked, you'd want me to say I'm your girlfriend?

[maced_eggs]

I'm not here to define you, Tiff. You can do as you please, you're an independent woman and I'm not here to box you in.

[tucky]

For fuck's sake Mason, why can't I just know what you want? 'Cause I don't got any idea. I thought you was just interested in sex, so I was thinking, "Okay, that's fine, but I should probably flirt with other people to try and get over him a little bit". But then you get all offended, and I don't want to offend you. I am just trying to do the right thing here, but I don't even know what that is.

[maced_eggs]

...M'not bloody offended.

[tucky]

... Fine.

Thought maybe you liked me for a second, is all.

[maced_eggs]

'Course I like you.

Date him, then. I don' mind, you do what you like. S'not a bloody thing.

[tucky]

I don't want to date him, I want to date you!

[... Oops, that is not something she was actually planning on saying.]

But if. You don't want to, I still want to be the thing we are now.

[maced_eggs]

...Bloody hell, Tiff. What the fuck happened to 'uncomplicated'?

[tucky]

Nothing; nothing happened to it. That's what the second part of what I said is for; you don't like me in that way, and that's fine. I like being what we are.

But you don't get to keep me on reserve forever, then; that ain't fair at all.

[maced_eggs]

Wait, who the fuck said I didn't like you? In what way?

M'not keeping you on reserve. Look, we're up in this man's post, an' as much as I don't care for him, he's got a right not to be bothered by all this. Can't we talk someplace else?

[tucky]

... Yeah. I'm coming to your room.

[And she does.]