1 - Video

[barewicked]

[Video clicks on, to reveal a skinny young man in his mid twenties. His eyes are wide and darting, and he wears an expression of deep concentration, right up until he realises he's broadcasting. Then, he becomes animated:]

Yo! I got some words for your Admiral here! I know I'm not dead, and I would remember if I'd been nicked, so you got no right hauling me in, man, no right!

[He keeps glancing off screen as he says this, as if he's expecting someone to enter his cabin at any time.]

Look, this isn't even my yard, all right? I was staying with a mate - a couple of mates, actually - so you've just gone and jacked their place out from under them, haven't you? Nicked right off with it and stuck it on your stupid boat! So where are they going to live, eh? You just made two innocent people homeless, mate, so who's the villain now?

[He puts one hand on his hip, apparently waiting for an answer. He manages to go about thirty seconds before giving an unhappy huff and putting his hand on his stomach.]

Bare starving as well. It's a fucking joke, this is.

Comments

[barewicked]

You know, for a man who only stuck his head into this post to talk shit about me in fucking code with his bird, you aren't half fucking rude.

If you and her are a thing, you only have to tell me and I'll leave it, you twat.

[maced_eggs]

We're a bleeding thing.

Knob.

[barewicked]

She wouldn't go for me anyway, then, on account of her clearly having bare shit taste in men.

[maced_eggs]

What'd you say, mate?

[barewicked]

You going deaf? I think I said you're shit, didn't I?

[maced_eggs]

You don't know who the fuck you're messing with.

[barewicked]

Yeah, you're fucking terrifying. I've pissed off gods and shagged wizards, mate, and they don't bother with all that hype.

[maced_eggs]

Aye, yeah, that might be true.

But you're talking to a bleeding inmate whose lovely warden gave him his powers back last week. Meanwhile you're powerless, no matter what the fuck else you are.

Best not piss me off.

[barewicked]

Your powers? Who calls what they can do that? What are you, fucking Spiderman?


I am talking to a proper wanker, mate, who can't fucking deal with his girlfriend innocently chatting with another man. I don't care if you can spit bullets or what, I reckon you're an insecure little man, and you ain't anythin' like as scary as you think you are.

[maced_eggs]

...S'not true at all.

[But then it's very easy to make Mason feel jealous/threatened/insecure]

I'm a fuckin' grim reaper.

[barewicked]

Not arsed.

[He might be later, BUT IN THE HEAT OF THIS ARGUMENT THERE'S NOTHING SCARY ABOUT THAT!]

[maced_eggs]

Didn't you hear what I just fuckin' said?


I'm a reaper. I could take your bleeding soul!

[barewicked]

There's worse things.

Besides, some people don't reckon people like me even have souls. So not arsed.

1/2

[tucky]

We are?

[tucky]

-- I mean, yeah. Yeah, we are.

3/3 I lied

[tucky]

... I know you two ain’t the same person. I was just joking about that.

[And she feels bad, because truthfully, she had been flirting with Zach a little bit. Not with any serious intentions, but in a way she wouldn’t have if she had known Mason thought of them as “a thing”. Whatever that meant in this context. She still isn't sure.]

I'm just getting a drink with him, like I do with people sometimes. Ain't doing anything else. You're right-- I like him, you know, in the way that maybe me and him could become friends.

But he's not you.

[maced_eggs]

...Right. You go on, have a drink with him. Doesn't matter. Why would it matter?

[Mason, you are ugly when you're spitting jealous]

[tucky]

Mason.

[maced_eggs]

Whut?

[tucky]

Come on, I'm being serious. I mean it, what I said.

You know how I feel about you.

[maced_eggs]

...S'fair. I wasn't jealous.

[tucky]

-- Couldn't help but notice you was letting him call you my boyfriend. More than once, even. That mean that if people asked, you'd want me to say I'm your girlfriend?

[maced_eggs]

I'm not here to define you, Tiff. You can do as you please, you're an independent woman and I'm not here to box you in.

[tucky]

For fuck's sake Mason, why can't I just know what you want? 'Cause I don't got any idea. I thought you was just interested in sex, so I was thinking, "Okay, that's fine, but I should probably flirt with other people to try and get over him a little bit". But then you get all offended, and I don't want to offend you. I am just trying to do the right thing here, but I don't even know what that is.

[maced_eggs]

...M'not bloody offended.