1 - Video

[barewicked]

[Video clicks on, to reveal a skinny young man in his mid twenties. His eyes are wide and darting, and he wears an expression of deep concentration, right up until he realises he's broadcasting. Then, he becomes animated:]

Yo! I got some words for your Admiral here! I know I'm not dead, and I would remember if I'd been nicked, so you got no right hauling me in, man, no right!

[He keeps glancing off screen as he says this, as if he's expecting someone to enter his cabin at any time.]

Look, this isn't even my yard, all right? I was staying with a mate - a couple of mates, actually - so you've just gone and jacked their place out from under them, haven't you? Nicked right off with it and stuck it on your stupid boat! So where are they going to live, eh? You just made two innocent people homeless, mate, so who's the villain now?

[He puts one hand on his hip, apparently waiting for an answer. He manages to go about thirty seconds before giving an unhappy huff and putting his hand on his stomach.]

Bare starving as well. It's a fucking joke, this is.

Comments

[maced_eggs]

You don't know who the fuck you're messing with.

[barewicked]

Yeah, you're fucking terrifying. I've pissed off gods and shagged wizards, mate, and they don't bother with all that hype.

[maced_eggs]

Aye, yeah, that might be true.

But you're talking to a bleeding inmate whose lovely warden gave him his powers back last week. Meanwhile you're powerless, no matter what the fuck else you are.

Best not piss me off.

[barewicked]

Your powers? Who calls what they can do that? What are you, fucking Spiderman?


I am talking to a proper wanker, mate, who can't fucking deal with his girlfriend innocently chatting with another man. I don't care if you can spit bullets or what, I reckon you're an insecure little man, and you ain't anythin' like as scary as you think you are.

[maced_eggs]

...S'not true at all.

[But then it's very easy to make Mason feel jealous/threatened/insecure]

I'm a fuckin' grim reaper.

[barewicked]

Not arsed.

[He might be later, BUT IN THE HEAT OF THIS ARGUMENT THERE'S NOTHING SCARY ABOUT THAT!]

[maced_eggs]

Didn't you hear what I just fuckin' said?


I'm a reaper. I could take your bleeding soul!

[barewicked]

There's worse things.

Besides, some people don't reckon people like me even have souls. So not arsed.

[maced_eggs]

You don't even know what you're on about. Dead an' doesn't even get it.

[barewicked]

Nah, man, I know what a reaper does. [Sort of. He can make an educated guess.] I'm just telling you, from experience: There's worse.

[maced_eggs]

I know there's fuckin' worse. I'm jus' saying you still don't want to cross me.


Fuck me...

[barewicked]

Well I'm saying, you want to try that big man bullshit on someone else, because I'm not impressed.

[Although, as the momentum drains out of their argument, he's starting to lose that adrenaline rush that makes it seem like a good idea to mouth off to the hand of death, so Zach might be on the brink of feeling just a tiny bit nervous now.]

Look, I'm not the one who started on you. You leave me alone and I'm not gonna come looking for trouble.

[maced_eggs]

You leave Tiff alone an' we won't have trouble at all.

She likes you. But you're not me, hear?

[barewicked]

Hey, she asked me to go get drunk with her, not the other way around.

[maced_eggs]

Then you treat her nicely.

[tucky]

I was not hitting on you when I did that.

[barewicked]

Then why's your boyfriend kicking off on me? I was just going for a drink with a nice girl and suddenly I'm the villain in your domestic!

[tucky]

I don't know; he thought I was flirting with you, I guess.






Which I guess I was a little bit. A little bit. But only because I did not know he felt like we was a thing.

[barewicked]

So he's so insecure that you can't even go for a drink without him giving you grief, and you're so insecure that you go from being a free and easy single lady, to being all tied up and off the market just because he told someone else that he felt like you were a thing?

He didn't even say it to you, and suddenly you're rethinking whether you're allowed to flirt with me.

That's pretty weak.

[tucky]

Hey. Hey. You got it all wrong, okay? I wasn't really on the market, and it ain't about who I'm allowed to flirt with. It's just-- it's fucking complicated, okay? I wasn't even going to try to do anything with you, I was just thinking-- hey, if Mason don't like me the way I like him, maybe I'll flirt with this other cute guy. Just for fun.

I'm not insecure.