1 - Video

[barewicked]

[Video clicks on, to reveal a skinny young man in his mid twenties. His eyes are wide and darting, and he wears an expression of deep concentration, right up until he realises he's broadcasting. Then, he becomes animated:]

Yo! I got some words for your Admiral here! I know I'm not dead, and I would remember if I'd been nicked, so you got no right hauling me in, man, no right!

[He keeps glancing off screen as he says this, as if he's expecting someone to enter his cabin at any time.]

Look, this isn't even my yard, all right? I was staying with a mate - a couple of mates, actually - so you've just gone and jacked their place out from under them, haven't you? Nicked right off with it and stuck it on your stupid boat! So where are they going to live, eh? You just made two innocent people homeless, mate, so who's the villain now?

[He puts one hand on his hip, apparently waiting for an answer. He manages to go about thirty seconds before giving an unhappy huff and putting his hand on his stomach.]

Bare starving as well. It's a fucking joke, this is.

Comments

[barewicked]

I might have skimmed over a few people complaining about them...

[and he might have assumed that this was just a bit of a leaky barge, and nothing more sinister...]

Why?

[strangehistorian]

Well, before you encounter your first one you should be warned! They are magical anomalies that can change either the structure of the ship or her inhabitants - both temporarily.

[barewicked]

Oh yeah? And there's no way to like... pass on them, is there?

[strangehistorian]

They don't hit every person every time! But, unfortunately, there is no way to willingly stop effects as far as we have been able to determine.